hey, I had to write a paper about an "experience" or something for english comp I
you don't have to peer edit it or anything, that'll be done in class. i just thought you guys would like to read it.

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As I lay on the ground writhing in agony, I’m having a flash back to the past thirty seconds of my life. Thirty seconds that seems like thirty hours.
It started as my friends, Robert and Illanya accompanied me to a rail beside a local playground. It was a stereotypical spring day, complete with the aroma of new life being born from the trees and mother earth. All around me a cacophonic orchestra of mowers ravaged what earth tried so hard to develop. The day had its own taste; an earthly nectar residue that almost makes you gag.
As I stood Asymmetrical to the rail, Robert and Illanya were to busy in the throws of young love to notice what I was about to attempt. My shoes have special plastic plates in the arch that allow me to slide on rails, ledges, benches, anything the plate can lock on to; and I was about to take full advantage of it.
As nervous adrenalin shredded through my constricting veins, I took one gulp of courage and ran to take my challenge head on.
You’re not supposed to think about the rail too much as you approach it, an unwritten rule which I ignored. Step by burdened heavy step, I gained speed towards the rail.
In my final step, I leapt up to lock my plates onto the rail. My front grindplate hooked into place with a snug “Ka-Ping” that’s symphonic to a soapers ears. However, my back foot had gained more momentum, and thus, more speed. I felt an un-familiar and unsettling wobble in my back foot before it swept my front foot out from under me.
Einstein’s theory of relativity states that time is relative to the observer. Before I could register what was happening instinct took over. My back foot had swept my front foot from under me knocking my front foot to one side of the rail, and my back foot to the other side. As seconds melted to minutes I carefully thought about possible ways around the inevitable. I tried throwing my weight to one side so I would fall to the ground before I hit the rail. I tried bracing myself with my hands, hoping they would absorb the shock. Both of which failed, though a combination of the two had saved my reproductive organs from being plastered along the rail.
I hit with what sounded like a bone shattering crunch on my tailbone. As Robert and Illanya rushed to my aide (laughing hysterically at my amusing plight) my hands immediately clutched the possibly broken tailbone while I shouted every curse that came to mind. I laughed so hard as I replayed what I must have looked like in my head; complete with flailing limbs and silly facial expressions.
As I began to get up and limp around with a painful laugh, I realized my tail bone wasn’t broken, but it was going to be a month or so before I could soap again (although later that day I saw fit to grind a truck ramp numerous times) Luckily I walked away with just a bruise such a vibrant shade of purple it would have made ancient kings violet crushed velvet and silk garments look like peasants rags.
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but seriously...it was hilarious, and it hurt like shit.

---Alex

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